Some people were arguing about Jesus again today on Facebook; what color he was, whether he was actually born on Christmas, was he even the son of God or did he exist at all? This was not a surprise to me at all. But it was an extremely heated conversation and when things like that happen, I always try to lighten the mood with little ditties like this- right off the top of my head…I wrote:
When I was a little girl, I was verrrry confused as to the full name of Jesus. My father frequently said “Jesus H Christ!!!” But that was when he was uber upset so I didn’t dare ask what the H stood for… Also when he got *really* angry he might even say “Mary Mother of GOD!!!” and there I was. Confused again.
You see, *I* thought Jesus was the son of God… So if Mary was the mother of God did that make her Jesus’ grandmother? But I never dared to ask my father. It just never seemed appropriate. As far as people arguing how Joseph fit in the picture? My father also liked to say (usually after I did a bad thing or something broke) “Jesus Mary and Joseph!!!” So I kind of thought of the three as a package deal. I was curious if Jesus called Joseph his stepdad or just referred to him as “Hey, Joe” or “Dad” but I didn’t ask my father that either. I just kept my mouth shut.
Any time he mentioned Jesus I was actually quiet (for a change) because usually, it was when he was mad or in a hot religious debate with our relatives. As far as Mary being a Virgin – I didn’t quite get that either. My mom explained Joseph (you know Mary’s husband) didn’t get her pregnant and I guess God did it. But I thought Mary was the mother of God so that kind of freaked me out… Again, I didn’t ask my mother because the last thing I wanted was to discuss sex with her. Especially in a religious context.
So… as a kid… I just accepted Mary was the mother of God, God got her pregnant without having sex (I mean, he *was* Jesus’ dad, right?), she was a virgin, Jesus was her son but he was also the son of God, and Mary was the Mother of God but also his mother. And I left it at that. Oh and don’t even get me started on the other Mary, Mary Magdalene. As a kid in Catholic school you wouldn’t believe the rumors floating around about her! 🙂
